Contingency Plan

May 15, 2009 To Whom it May Concern, Today is the day I begin a blog. The sun is shining, and I can smell summer in the air. I am simply thrilled to have a forum with which to share my a short lifetime of knowledge with the world. So without further adieu, I share with you my first bit of know-how: Foresight.

This is an automated post from Sven Lyndon. I wrote it some time ago when I first began the blog. Each week, I set it back another week, the idea being that should I not physically be able to post on the blog: the backup plan kicks in. If you are reading this, I am likely dead or at the very least: incapacitated. I would love to apologize for said incapacitation or death, but I won't because I am positive that it was in no way, shape, or form my fault. Sometimes you do your best and the world just shits all over it.

It is anyone's (except mine as I am either dead or incapacitated) guess how long it will be until I return to the helm of my surely magnificent blog. Odds are one of my many enemies got to me. Luckily for you, I don't believe on quitting anything regardless of the circumstances. Utilizing meticulous time management I still do every hobby, sport, or pastime I have ever started. Here is a quick rundown of my day (it is not shown on the list, but I do go to work, and it does not interfere with my activities):

5:30 am: Wake up to my "Learn Polish at Home" tapes so I can surprise my ex girlfriend who is of Polish ancestry
6:00 am: Shower as I study C++ computer programming
6:30 am: Roll sushi for breakfast
7:00 am: Trim the Banzai Tree
7:30 am: Write "BeetleBorgs" fan fiction
8:00 am: Unicycle to work
8:30 am: Update my America Online profile taking a thinly veiled jab at my ex-girlfriend whenever possible
9:00 am: Continue solving my Rubik's Cube WITHOUT instructions
9:30 am: Reorganize my pogs
10:00 am: Add "Sun In" to my hair
10:30 am: Practice my ex girlfriends favorite Nickelback song on guitar (another surprise)
11:00 am: Practice with my Yo-Yo
11:30 am: Practice walking on my hands
12:00 pm: Practice break dancing
12:30 pm: Practice beat boxing
1:00 pm: Study Japanese over lunch
1:30 pm: Whittle
2:00 pm: Leatherwork
2:30 pm: Continue brewing my own beer
3:00 pm: Continue work on my sailboat
3:30 pm: Fencing Practice
4:00 pm: Continue rehabbing a 1968 Ford Bronco
4:30 pm: Archery
5:00 pm: Continue a portrait of me and my ex girlfriend
5:30 pm: Harass people in AOL chatrooms
6:00 pm: Continue the application process for the Sega Dreamcast I won by clicking on the ad
6:30 pm: Phone Phreak a few payphones
7:00 pm: Band Practice
7:30 pm: Continue work on my Pokemon playing card deck
8:00 pm: Tend to my ex girlfriend's vegetable garden
8:30 pm: Practice Drums
9:00 pm: Listen to the cure
9:30 pm: Poke ex girlfriend on facebook
10:00 pm: Call up The Sack Artist for our nightly chat
10:30 pm: Private Time
11:00 pm: Key the shit out of the car parked outside of my Ex Girlfriends house
11:30 pm: Continue digging my fallout shelter
12:00 am: Attempt to eat 6 saltine crackers in under a minute
12:30 am: Tai Chi
1:00 am: Key that fucking car again
1:30 am: Split wood
2:00 am: Perform 20 max weight hang power cleans
2:30 am: Run 7 400 Yard Dashes
3:00 am - 5:30 am: Sleep

As you can see, I have quite a bit of free time in my schedule. But because I do not believe in quitting anything (whatever the reason, death and incapacitation included), I have transcribed my past journals. They are arranged in no specific order, but will automatically post themselves every Friday until I return (if I do return).

Incapacitatedly Your's,
Sven Lyndon